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About Me

I’m a 55 year-old professional gay woman, who has dealt with lots of big life challenges including trauma, cancer and divorce. Starting life over in my 50s has been a true journey of self-discovery and a blessing. In finding my way back to me, I truly am making the rest of my life, the best of my life. I'm passionate about wanting to help others do the same and navigate such changes without relying on alcohol.  

It's never too late. 

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A Moment of Clarity 

Have you ever had a moment where despite your very best efforts to keep 'all the plates spinning' – the truth comes crashing through. It breaks through your defences and you just know that things have to change.

 

One of mine was sitting in a café listening to a band -Paper Aeroplanes. I’d almost stayed home instead -  just me and a bottle of wine. I used to love socialising and going to gigs, but lately I'd retreated. 

 

At home they'd be no questions as to ‘how I was doing or feeling’ - which was not great but it was hard to explain just why. It was kind of everything. I had the career, the house, the relationship – 20 plus years, but there were issues – some I simply could not talk about. I just wasn’t happy.  

 

The band were amazing and had me captivated but one song Time to Be cracked me open.  Tears streamed down my face as the most perfect voice sang:

It’s time to be, everything, everything you want to be’.

That was the exact moment I started to wake up from my trance.  I didn’t know how - I just knew I had to start living again.  I needed to find my way back to me.

Finding My Way Back to Me

The Wrong Tool

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I tried to find support but it only seemed to come in formats that were simply not true or made no sense to me. I didn't have a 'rock-bottom' - 

I just wanted a different relationship with alcohol. 

 

I read a bunch of books about alcohol – including ‘This Naked Mind’ by Annie Grace, which was my second moment of clarity. I then stumbled upon the ‘Live Alcohol Experiment’, which was the spark I’d been seeking! 

 

Changing my relationship with alcohol and going alcohol free – was a hugely important step along my journey back to me and living an authentic life. The life I have always dreamed of. A life I don’t need to escape from. It is never too late.

 

I want to help others navigate any big changes in their life without relying on alcohol – so that they might do the same. 

Sadly, it took a few more years as there were many roadblocks on the way – including cancer, a painful divorce and a global pandemic!  To the outside world – all looked ok. I was functioning and doing all the things - a stressful job, competing in triathlons...I was successfully starting my life over at 50.

With all these changes, I leaned into alcohol to help me ‘cope’ with all the things. The stress, the boredom, loneliness, anger, sadness, betrayal, comfort, disappointment – I gave it all the jobs!  

 

Alcohol began to take away much more than it gave - most importantly my self-respect, hope and the life I knew I could be living.

 

Inside I knew that alcohol simply was not serving me. 

 The Right Help

If you've been  giving alcohol 'all the jobs' to make it through your life changes - there is another way. 
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